


Back To School

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, First Time, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-10-29
Updated: 2000-10-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 09:04:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15093554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Donna heads back to school. . . with a little help from Josh.





	1. Back To School

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Title: Back to School

Author: Jennifer

Summary: Donna heads back to school...with a little help from Josh.

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: They're not mine. I just like to have fun with them. Please don't sue me. I have no money.

Random Thoughts: I had actually finished this story before we discovered that Donna didn't have her degree. I made some changes and now I think it works much better. (Can't have Donna getting a master's before she's gotten her bachelor's.) Anyway, the problem Donna has with one of her classes is something I've struggled with for years. I know I'm not alone. Maybe some of you will relate to this too. Feedback is always appreciated.

 

Back to School (1/7)

Josh headed into the Georgetown cafeteria for a cup of coffee on his way off campus. Regretting his decision almost as soon as the bitter coffee hit his lips, he turned to leave. But not before noticing Donna sitting in the corner with her head bowed over a textbook.

Wondering what she was doing there, he wandered over to her table. He caught a glimpse of a math textbook and various pieces of scratch paper scattered on the table. Her hand was clenched around a calculator, while a pencil was between her lips. However, she didn't seem to be doing anything.

Josh placed his hands on the chair back opposite her. "Mind if I sit down?"

Donna startled at the sound of Josh's voice. Her head whipped up and she took the pencil out from between her lips. Josh saw tears pooled in her eyes before she blinked them away.

"Josh? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question, Donnatella."

Their eyes silently locked and a faint blush creeped up Donna neck. With a sigh, she gestured to the seat opposite her. "Please sit down." She gathered up several of the papers on Josh's side of the table and stacked them on top of the open textbook. She fidgeted with the calculator."What are you doing here, Josh?"

"I had dinner with Professor Kincaid. He wanted to thank me for giving the presentation to his polysci class last semester."

"Oh," she replied, not meeting his eyes.

Josh knew all of Donna's moods. He could usually read them on her face, but she'd never been unable to look him in the eye. This confused and frightened him. He wasn't going to walk away without knowing why she was crying over a math textbook in the Georgetown cafeteria on a Tuesday night. He reached over and stopped her restless taping on the calculator keypad. "Donna, are you okay?"

She finally met his eyes, but moved her hand out from under his and onto her lap. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"It's just that you're sitting in the Georgetown cafeteria, all alone, crying over a math textbook." Deciding to lighten themood, Josh added, "I know you're big on crying over books. Like what was the name of that weepy girl book you tried to get me to read? Prudence and something?"

Donna smiled. "It was Pride and Prejudice and it is not a weepy girl book."

Happy to have found a topic she was warming to, Josh continued, "Oh yeah, like aristocrats romping through the English countryside in search of true love makes for a hard-hitting action thriller."

"Better romping through the English countryside, than storming a desert fortress in Lebanon like in that testosterone driven book you forced me to read a few months ago," she retorted.

"Excuse me, but that book happened to be on the best sellers list."

"Yes, but Pride and Prejudice is a classic and will be around a great deal longer than your best seller."

"Only time will tell," said Josh with a smile, settling back in his seat. This was more like it. Bantering with Donna made him feel that all was right with the world. Plus, he had gotten a smile out of her.

They settled into a comfortable silence. Donna turned her head and looked out the picture window next to their table. It was dark out and the window only reflected her and Josh's reflections back. She let out a sigh.

"Donna?"

"Hmm?"

"You want to share?"

"Not really, but you'd find out sooner or later."

"What?" asked a perplexed Josh.

"I'm taking classes," she answered, ducking her head.

"You're back in school?"

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't sound so surprised Josh."

"I'm not surprised, Donna. I think it's great," he said, getting another smile out of Donna. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Well it's not something I wanted anyone to know," she replied, tears shimmering in her eyes again.

"Donna, why? It's great. What's wrong?" he asked, reaching to place his hand against her arm.

"You'll think it's stupid."

"I'll think the fact you're taking classes is stupid?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"The fact I didn't want anyone to know about me taking classes."

"Donna, I'm totally confused. Why would I or anyone else think it was stupid that you're taking classes?"

Donna sighed and turned her head towards the window again. She admired Josh as a boss and a friend and maybe as something more. Lately she'd been thinking of him a lot as something more, but with everything else going on in her life, she'd pushed the thoughts aside. Plus, he was so intelligent. She'd always wondered what he thought about her dropping out of school to be with Tom, or as Josh called him, Dr. Free Ride.

"I really did not want to have this conversation with you, Josh. You're practically the smartest person I know and…"

"Practically the smartest?" he cracked, trying to get another smile out of her. When it failed, he tightened his hold on her arm and moved his hand down to cover hers with his. He didn't even realize he was holding her hand, so focused was he on the pain in the face of the woman before him. "Know what, Donna?"

Donna turned back to him, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill over now. In a quiet voice, she whispered, "I didn't want you to know because I'm afraid I'd fail."

Before Josh could say another word, she went on. "I didn't want you to know I was taking classes because I'm thinking about dropping out. Again. I think I'm too old to go back to finish my degree."

"Donna, don't say that," he said, squeezing her hand. "You're not too old. If you want to do this, then do it. I know you can."

Donna smiled weakly at him again. "Yeah, well I thought I could too, but that was before I realized I had to take a math class."

"Why would that bother you? You deal with that stuff every day."

Donna let out a sigh. "Joshua, I don't know if you noticed this, but I can't add two numbers together without using a calculator." She closed her eyes. "I work in the White House, but sometimes I feel like not having my degree puts me at a disadvantage."

Josh feared that he had somehow made Donna feel like her contributions and intelligence weren't valuable. In fact, she was vital to his survival in the west wing. Without her, he knew he'd be lost in a disorganization of his own creation.

"Donna, you are qualified to work in the White House. Probably over-qualified. Did I ever make you feel like you weren't doing an outstanding job?"

She opened her eyes and the tears spilled over. "Josh, no. You never did anything. This is my own stupid thing."

Keeping her hand locked in his, he reached into his suit pocket with his other hand and gave her his handkerchief. "It's clean. I swear."

A small smile danced over Donna's lips, but it didn't reach her eyes. "You're going to think I'm completely losing my mind when I tell you the other reason for not telling you about taking classes." She dabbed at her eyes.

"I doubt that. I don't think you're insane now, so try me."

Donna lowered her head and mumbled.

"What?"

She didn't raise her head, but she spoke clearer. "I have math anxiety."

Josh would have laughed if he hadn't witnessed her tears. This was so unlike the confident woman who ruled over him and his office. She raised her head to look at him. "Scoff if you will, but it's true. I freak out over math. I don't understand it at all. And I can memorize formulas and equations until my dying day, but as soon as a test is placed in front of me I forget everything."

"Donna. Did I look like I was scoffing?"

"No, but I'm sure you're thinking…," she started.

"Donna, how do you know what I'm thinking? I'm definitely not thinking you're insane, or weak, or whatever else you're thinking. Please don't assume that I would ever think about you like that." He squeezed her hand. "Okay?"

Donna sniffled once. "Okay."

"Now let's go back to this math anxiety thing. Why didn't you ask for help?"

"I have Josh. That's just it. Every tutor I've ever had, from high school to college, has left me in a huff of frustration because I just can't get it. And the more upset they got with me, the more anxious I got. I've never got anything above a `C' in any math class I've ever taken."

"Well, see you're not a failure. `F' is failure. Quitting is failure. I don't hear you saying that you did any of those things."

Donna was about to respond, when Josh held up his other hand to stop her. "Wait let me finish. I should have been clearer. Why didn't you ask me for help?"

"Josh."

"No, I don't want to hear any of this `afraid to look like a failure in my eyes' stuff. Donna I could never see you that way and you know it. I know I don't have tons of free time, but if you'd ask, I'd gladly give up watching infomercials at 2 a.m. to tutor you."

She gave a slight smile, but the tears shimmering in her eyes threatened to spill over again. "You would do that? You would help me?" she asked her voice breaking.

"Of course I would. Why did you think you couldn't come to me with this?" he asked lifting her other arm up with the handkerchief to remind her to dab at her eyes.

"It's just this one pre-req calculus class and I thought I could handle it. I really thought I was passed all this. I figured an adult wouldn't respond to math the same way a teenager would, but I've obviously blown that theory to shreds," she laughed ruefully. Then she continued, only a little softer, "Then the class started getting hard, and everyone seemed to be breezing right through it and I thought it was too late in the semester to ask for help." She risked a glance at him before turning towards the window.

"Donna. Stop it. I won't sit here and listen to you tear yourself apart. It's not weak or stupid to ask for help. And, I'd like to help," Josh said, releasing her hand to grasp her chin and turn her towards him. "Do you want me to help you?"

Donna's eyes lit up for the first time since Josh had sat down. "Really? You aren't too busy? You have so little free time as it is."

Josh interrupted her, "Yes, I have little free time, but I can assure you that tutoring you will be much more worthwhile than buying knives off the TV at 2 a.m. Besides Donna, we're friends. I'd liketo help."

Donna took a moment to ponder. "Josh, I'm not an easy person to tutor in math. I get frustrated." She shook the handkerchief at him."I cry easily. I'll probably beg you to stab me with a pencil to put me out of my misery."

Josh laughed. "Haven't I so far resisted stabbing you with a pencil at work when you drive me crazy? If that doesn't show restraint and patience, I don't know what does."

Donna laughed, her eyes widened in mock horror. "What could I possibly have done to you at work that would make you want to stab me with a pencil?"

"Do you want the list in alphabetical or chronological order?" retorted Josh, happy to see her relaxing.

Donna laughed again, but then quieted. "Josh, how are we going to do this? I mean, you never know what your schedule is going to be like. We live on opposite sides of town. I really don't want anyone else to know about this…"

Josh interrupted her again. "Donna, we'll figure it out later. Right now, I'm dying for a decent cup of coffee," as he gestured to his now cold cup of cafeteria coffee, "and I think you need to get out of here. Wanna go around the corner to the coffee shop?"

Donna stared at Josh for a few seconds, as if weighing the pros and cons of her answer. "Okay." Donna started to collect her books and papers,stuffing things into her black backpack, which was similar to the one Josh carried.

When she went to put on her coat, Josh gallantly took it from her and held it out for her to slip on. Once she was safely wrapped in her coat she turned. "Thank you Josh," she whispered.

"You're welcome," Josh whispered back as he took her hand in his. Then he hoisted her backpack along with his own on his back and steered her out of the cafeteria into the night.

 

 

 

 


	2. Back To School 2

Ratings, Disclaimer, Random Thoughts in Chapter 1.

 

Back to School (2/7)

"Morning, Josh," Donna said sitting across from his desk. She set her coffee on his desk after taking a sip and opened his schedule book.

"Donna? What's this message about Senator's Lipman's toreodor pants?"

"Tobacco package, Josh. Senator Lipman's tobacco package that he's presenting before the Senate on Thursday? He called to talk to you about it."

"Unbelievable," he laughed, reaching for her coffee. "I don't see how there's a letter `b' anywhere in that message."

"Must I remind you of my distinctive penmanship style? You'd think by now, you'd have figured it out."

"I'd much rather spend valuable minutes during my busy day trying to decipher your handwriting," he smirked back.

She just smiled. It had been two days since Josh had found her crying in the Georgetown cafeteria and he hadn't said one thing about tutoring her. In fact, he'd taken her books too and she hadn't had a chance to begin studying for her midterm next week. However, she didn't want to bring it up. Now that they were back at work, she felt kind of funny for crying in front of him and confessing her fears.

"So, Donnatella," Josh began, bringing Donna out of her revelry. "You have a calculus midterm next week, am I right?"

Donna's face flushed and she ducked her head, while sipping her coffee. "Uh huh."

"As your tutor, I'm very disappointed that you've let me have your books for two days and haven't asked for them to begin studying," he said teasingly.

"I was kind of hoping you'd keep them and then I would be forced to drop out of the class because you're holding my books hostage."

"No such luck, Ms. Moss. I have worked out a schedule."

"You've worked out a schedule?" Donna asked him incredulously. "You can't even manage your own schedule."

"Well, that's true, but I don't seem to have a problem managing other people's schedule," Josh said, sitting back, snagging Donna's coffee for a sip.

"So, you've decided to start managing my schedule?" asked Donna.

"Yes," he said, pulling out a file folder from his bag and putting it on the desk between them. "You've kept me under your finger for more than two years now. I figure it's time I return the favor."

"So, you're punishing me for keeping you in line, by creating some horrendous tutoring schedule?" Donna asked, reaching for the folder.

"That's right," said Josh, swatting her hand away and opening the folder. "Now. I've figured out how much time in the next four days we have to study before your midterm. I think we should develop a schedule week-by-week though, since anything beyond that would be unreasonable, considering where we work."

Donna looked up at him, amazed that he was so organized. "Okay."

"Okay," he said, meeting her eyes. "This weekend, I have no plans, so I figure we could do a cram session."

Donna sat back for a second. She smirked at him. "What if I'm busy?"

"Are you?" Josh asked.

Donna paused, smiling. "No."

Josh smirked. "Okay, now that we've established that we both have no social lives, can we get back to this?"

Donna smiled wider. "Yeah."

"Okay, we'll start tomorrow night reviewing the stuff you've already learned. Then on Saturday and Sunday we'll begin using what we learned to study for your midterm. Monday night we'll do a final review and Tuesday we'll sit back and relax." Josh looked up to see if Donna was following.

She seemed frozen, her eyes brimming with tears. "Josh," she whispered.

Josh immediately reached in his jacket pocket for his handkerchief, handing it to her. "It's a little early in this process for you to start crying isn't it?" he asked, with a smile.

Donna smiled back, wiping her tears. "Josh...I just didn't expect...I mean I figured your schedule would be too busy...Are you sure?"

Josh reached across the desk for her free hand. Finding it, he gave it a squeeze. "I said I'd help you, right?"

Donna nodded, sniffling.

"Okay then. That's what I'm doing. Don't worry about my time. Let's just worry about getting you through the midterm, okay?"

Donna nodded again and squeezed his hand back.

"You two want to be alone?"

Both Josh and Donna jumped, dropping their hands as Toby stood in the doorway.

"Hey, Toby," said Josh, immediately riffling through the files on his desk.

Donna started pulling together Josh's schedule book and stood up. "Morning Toby." Her face felt like it was burning and she hoped Toby didn't notice.

"I just came down to invite you to join us for the staff meeting, Joshua, but you seem to have better things to do," Toby smirked, giving Donna a lifted eyebrow as she tried to scoot past him.

Josh gave Toby a look, "I'll be there in a minute. Donna, wait a second."

Toby backed up to let Donna back into the office, giving them both a look and a smile before disappearing down the hallway.

"What?" asked Donna, sighing.

"Take this schedule and look it over. And your books are in my bag," said Josh, gathering up files for his meeting. "Let's talk at lunch about this, okay?" he said squeezing her arm as he headed out the door.

"You have a meeting with David Barnes at lunchtime."

"Cancel it," said Josh, walking backwards down the hall. "I think this is more important," he smiled as he gestured to the folder carrying the tutoring schedule.

Donna smiled as he wheeled away.

 

 


	3. Back To School 3

Ratings, Disclaimer, Random Thoughts in Chapter 1.

 

Back to School (3/7)

On Friday night, Donna followed Josh home for her first tutoring session. They'd decided yesterday at lunch to leave work together as early as possible so that they could get a jump on reviewing the classwork.

Donna was nervous. Really nervous. She'd always been a good student. Even an excellent student, which explains the uproar she created in her family when she dropped out. But math was a different story. When she'd dropped out, she hadn't taken the prerequisite math class for her government and public policy coursework. She'd put it off for as long as possible and now, six years later, she was paying the price.

Her nervousness also stemmed from the fact that she didn't want Josh to loose esteem for her. She had fallen into the position as his assistant easily and he'd never made her feel any less valuable because she didn't have her degree. But, what if, when he saw how completely incapable of understanding math she was, he started looking at her differently? What if he began to doubt her ability in other areas?

It was too late to go back now, as Josh turned onto his street and Donna followed.

After they walked in, Josh headed into the kitchen, dumping his bag and coat on the kitchen table. "You want something to eat, Donnatella?"

"You mean as my last meal?" she quipped tossing her bag onto the couch and flinging herself onto it as well.

"Not funny," said Josh heading back into the room with a bag of pretzels and two sodas.

Josh sat down next to Donna, opening her bag and pulling out her math book. "Is your calculator in here somewhere?"

"Yeah, at the bottom," she said, sipping her drink.

"You should treat this thing better," he said, once he found her beat up calculator. "It'll be your best friend during this class."

"Why? Will it magically give me the correct answers? Or maybe I could scribble formulas onto the side of it, like I used to in high school."

"You cheated in high school?" asked Josh with his best shocked voice.

"Only in math class," Donna smiled.

Josh smiled back and pulled Donna up from her reclined position on the couch. "Come on. Show me what chapter you're up to and we'll work backwards from there."

"Okay," Donna said reluctantly.

A few hours later, Josh had tabbed all the chapters where Donna needed review and he had flagged the stuff that she absolutely needed to understand before they could proceed.

They worked through some basic calculus problems, and once Donna relaxed, she had gotten most of them correct. They worked late into the night, right up to the chapter that Donna was currently on, with Josh patiently explaining the ins and outs of the problems.

Saturday, Donna arrived at Josh's apartment early. They worked their way up to logarithmic differentiation and things were starting to get a little harder for Donna.

Donna sat on the floor in front of Josh's coffee table and Josh sat across from her.

"All right, try this one," Josh said, getting up to refresh their glasses of water.

Donna stared down at the problem before her. It combined lots of pieces of problems that she'd successfully completed before, but Donna started to panic, because she couldn't remember what order towork through the problem. It was one thing to have Josh walk her through the problem, but it was another thing to do one on her own.

"Josh? Does this problem require the chain rule?"

"Yes," he yelled from the kitchen.

"Wanna tell me which side of the equation it applies to?" Donna said, starting to scribble notes to herself on a scrap piece of paper.

"No, because that would be cheating."

Donna sighed and started figuring the problem. She used the chain rule on the side she thought she was supposed to and then differentiated and multiplied both sides of the equation. She divided out a factor of x and then stopped. She bit her lip. She was lost. She had completely lost whatever the next step was supposed to be.

Josh sat down next to her on the couch. He peered down at her work. "So far, so good, Donnatella."

Donna grunted.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I'm lost."

"Lost?"

"Yeah. What am I supposed to do next?"

Josh began to realize what exactly Donna's problem with math was. She was trying to develop a set of rules to follow for each problem. When in actuality, the steps were always being rearranged to meet each problem.

"Donna, why don't you work backwards and figure out what you've already done and that should lead you to the next step."

Donna looked up at him and rolled her eyes. "You do realize that it's a miracle I've even gotten this far, right? I mean, there's no way I can figure out what I've done. Let's just be happy I got this far."

"Nope. You'll only get partial credit on a test for solving the problem this far and we want full credit, remember? We're striving for an A in this class."

Donna snorted. "You may be striving for an A in this class. I'll settle for a C."

"No student of mine strives for a C in math class," said Josh, putting on his best affronted professor voice.

Donna laughed. "Sorry, but I'm probably going to be the first student to ruin your record."

"Well, since you're my first and only student, how about we strive for the highest grade you've ever gotten on a math test?"

"Easier said than done," said Donna, studying the problem before her again. She started working the problem again from the beginning on a different piece of paper. Once she got to the same point again, she started to try something, but it didn't seem to be working, so she backtracked. She tried to remember what she had done on the problem before this one, and tried that, but it didn't seem to be working either. She sighed.

"You know this Donna," said Josh softly from over her shoulder.

"No, Josh. I really don't," she said, willing herself not to cry.

"Wanna hint?" said Josh, sliding down to sit next to her on the ground.

Donna nodded, closing her eyes briefly.

"There are some powers you can combine."

Donna studied the problem again, seeing at least two places where she could probably combine powers.

"These two?" she asked, pointing to one of the possible places.

"Why do you think those two?"

"Um…I didn't think wild guesses were supposed to have reasons behind them."

Josh smiled at her. "Don't make a wild guess. Tell me why you think those two make sense to you. Visualize the end result."

Donna studied the problem again. She looked at her two possibilities and tried to formulate the answers that using either would provide. "Is it too late for me to ask you to stab me with the pencil?"

"Donna."

"Okay. Okay."

She continued figuring the problem, but it was like her mind had put up a mental block at that particular point of the problem. She couldn't see anything beyond it. She started tapping her pencil on the table in frustration.

Josh put his hand over her pencil, stilling it. "Combine the powers on these two," he said, pointing to the option that Donna had not chosen originally.

"Of course," she said, her voice sounding defeated.

She figured the rest of the problem and got the correct answer, but she was starting to get frustrated.

Josh explained to her the meaning of the various formulas she'd used and gave her another problem to try. He also took away the cheat sheet she'd been using.

"Hey! I need that," she said, grabbing it back from him.

"No, you don't," said Josh, softly taking it back from her. He pulled her book into his lap and started reading ahead to the next chapter, leaving her to figure the problem alone.

She sighed, but then started working on the problem. She tried to work the problem in the same order she had done the previous one, but that wasn't working. She started with something different, but that didn't seem to be working either. This problem seemed to be combining several elements from all the chapters they'd worked through. But Donna couldn't remember the order in which she was supposed to do things.

"Josh, you wanna help me out here?"

"Nope," he said, not looking up from his book.

"Some tutor you turned out to be," she said sullenly.

She studied the problem and started to figure it out. She bit her lip and wrote the final answer on the paper.

"I have no idea," she said with a defeated voice.

Josh looked at her work, noticing that she had started the problem correctly, but had used the wrong formula at one point and had therefore gotten the answer wrong.

"It's wrong, right?"

"Yeah, but I know exactly where you went wrong," he said, sitting up straighter next to her.

"Signing up for the math class in the first place was probably my first mistake."

"Donna."

"Okay, show me," she sighed.

"You didn't multiply both sides of the equation by y. See right here? And then when you went to differentiate it, you didn't have combined powers of x." He looked over at Donna.

"I have no idea what you just said."

"Yes, you do."

"But I did differentiate, right after I used the chain rule and then the product rule."

"But those things don't always follow each other."

"They don't? Why not? They did in the last problem."

"Yeah, but that was the last problem. The sequence of formulas always changes. That's why you have to understand each individually."

"But I don't understand the formulas individually," she said, biting her lip to keep from crying.

"You do. That's what we did last night. Now you just have to apply them to each problem. But not in the same sequence," said Josh, sensing that Donna had reached her frustration limit.

Donna felt she had to be very careful not to take her frustrations out on Josh. Even though they were friends, Josh was still her boss and she didn't want him to be mad at her or disappointed in her.

"Can we stop for awhile?" she asked, as she got up from the couch and walked to the window.

With her back to him, Josh could tell she was upset. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, then he got up and walked to her. "Donna?"

She didn't say anything.

"I think we should take a break. Maybe order in food? We've been doing this all day and I think we're both tired," he said,running a hand down her back, which was incredibly tense.

She just nodded. Josh knew not to push her, so he walked towards his kitchen asking, "Do you want Chinese or maybe pizza?"

"I don't care," she said, still not turning from the window.

Josh sighed. "Okay, then I'm getting pizza with anchovies and pineapple"

He saw Donna raise a hand to her face to wipe away her tears, before she turned around. "Do you plan on getting a second pizza with normal combinations of toppings for me?"

"So, you're saying no to the pineapple? Or just to the anchovies?" Josh asked, rifling through his kitchen drawers for a pizza menu.

"Both actually. Can't you just get mushroom and onion like normal people?" she asked.

"That would insinuate that one or both of us are normal."

Donna just gave him a look and headed off to the guest bathroom. She stayed in there for a long time, running the water, so Josh couldn't hear her crying. She knew having Josh tutor her was a bad idea, and now she'd made a complete fool of herself. If he hadn't thought she was an idiot before, he surely did now. She splashed some water on her face, hoping that their working relationship could be salvaged, now that he'd probably lost all respect for her.

She dried her face and walked out, only to find that her bag had been packed and the coffee table was set for dinner. Two glasses of wine sat on the table and Josh was sitting on the couch watching TV.

When he heard her behind him, he dropped his head onto the couch cushions and looked at her. "Hurry up, Donnatella. The movie's about to start."

"The movie?" she asked, expecting him to have packed her bag so he could throw her out of his place.

Josh wasn't going to do any such thing though. They'd been studying all day and he knew Donna had to be as exhausted as he was. They both needed a mental break. He laughed inwardly though, because this obviously wasn't what Donna expected from him.

"Yeah. The dish says that To Catch A Thief is starting in five minutes. That's one of your favorite movies, right?"

"Yeah," she said skeptically, still not having moved into his living room.

"Well, come on then. We'll watch it and eat pizza," he smiled.

"Okay," she said, sitting next to him on the couch.

After a few minutes of silence, Donna turned to him. "Josh? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you frustrated about tutoring me."

"Donna," Josh said, putting an arm around her and pulling her into his shoulder. "I'm not frustrated, but you are, so we're going to stop for today. Okay? And don't apologize."

Donna was silent for a minute and then put a hand on Josh's chest, so she could push up and look into his face. "Thanks Josh," she said quietly.

Josh looked into her eyes, which were swimming with tears and felt an unfamiliar tug in his chest. He never wanted Donna to feel like she was less than the amazing woman she was. And he never wanted her to think that he saw her as anything less. But the tug he felt in his heart was so much more than just concern for his assistant and friend. He raised a hand and wiped the tear that had leaked out from her eye. "You're welcome," he whispered back, desperately wanting to kiss her, but instead settling for kissing the corner of her eye, tasting her tears on his lips.

Donna sighed and opened her eyes to look right into Josh's. His hand continued to rub her face and Donna licked her lips, suddenly realizing that she wanted Josh to kiss her. Josh saw the permission granted in her eyes and leaned in to kiss her. Just as his lips lightly pressed hers, the buzzer to his apartment rang.

They both jumped apart, looking uncertainly into each other's eyes. Josh finally broke their stalemate. "Don't go anywhere," he whispered, gently extricating himself from her and walking to his door to get the pizza.

Donna sunk down onto the floor in front of his table, mentally kicking herself for trying to kiss him. Was it just anxiety about the calculus or was it something more between her and Josh? Something that had been there all along, but neither one was ready or willing to act on?

Josh was having a similar conversation in his mind as he waited at the door for the pizza guy. He admired and respected Donna and could not deny that he'd always been attracted to her. Lately his feelings for her had changed and he was almost afraid that he loved her. But he was unsure of how she felt about him, so he'd kept their relationship platonic, hoping that somehow he could get her to see him as more than just a friend. Now it seemed like she returned his feelings, but Josh didn't want to push her, especially while she was having such a hard time in her class. He wanted her to be focused on her schoolwork, not their budding relationship, but even that argument didn't stop him from wanting to get another chance at their first kiss.

He paid for the pizza and brought it back to the table, sinking down next to her on the floor. They ate in silence watching the movie and sipping their wine.

Once the pizza was almost gone, Josh cleaned up their plates and took everything to the kitchen, returning with the remainder of the bottle of wine. Donna had moved back up onto the couch, her legs tucked to her side. Josh sat down next to her and slid his left hand into her right,tangling their fingers. Donna sighed, turning to smile at Josh. Josh scrunched down in the seat, putting his feet up on the coffee table and tugging Donna down with him. She rested her head on his shoulder and they stayed like that until the movie was over and Donna left to go home.

 

 

 

 


	4. Back To School 4

Ratings, Disclaimer, Random Thoughts in Chapter 1.

 

Back to School (4/7)

The next morning, Donna knocked on Josh's door carrying coffee and muffins.

"Thank God you brought food," said Josh, once he'd opened the door.

"Good morning to you too Joshua."

"Well, if you hadn't brought muffins, I'd have been forced to eat the cold pizza from last night," said Josh, taking the muffins and coffee from her and heading to the kitchen.

Donna followed, dropping her bag and coat on Josh's kitchen table. "So, basically all I'm good for is bringing muffins and saving you from eating cold pizza for breakfast?"

"I wouldn't say that's all you're good for," Josh replied, smirking before eating half his muffin in one bite.

Donna blushed and smiled, sipping her coffee.

"Come on," said Josh, holding his muffin and coffee and heading out of his kitchen. Instead of heading to the couch, Josh led Donna out to the front steps of his building. The leaves on the trees in the park across from his building were starting to change and it was warm enough outside for them to sit and enjoy them.

"Wow. You have a great view, Josh," said Donna as she sat next to Josh on the stairs.

"I know and I don't appreciate it enough, so before we get started, I thought we'd sit and enjoy the weather."

Donna and Josh ate their muffins and drank their coffee, each amazed at how comfortable it felt to be together.

Eventually, they moved inside, sitting at Josh's kitchen table and got started. Josh walked Donna through several of the problems they did last night, watching her face intently to see if she understood. Confident that she was comprehending what he was showing her, Josh gave her some problems to do, which Donna worked through slowly and diligently, stopping several times to get advice from Josh.

"Donnatella, how are you going to learn if you're always waiting for me to tell you which direction to go?"

"Joshua. If you don't help me, I'll never get it."

"You already do get it," said Josh emphatically. "Here. I want you to work on these problems without asking me one thing." He handed her a sheet of problems that covered all the things that were likely to be on her midterm.

Donna's eyes widened. "Josh, I don't think I'm ready."

"Of course you are," he said, moving all the cheat sheets and books out of her way and leaving her alone.

He spent the next few minutes wandering through his apartment, picking up after himself and making a grocery list, while waiting for her to finish.

He glanced over to study her bent head. Her hair had fallen along one side of her face, and she had put the pencil between her lips, while she ran some numbers on the calculator. Josh studied the curve of her neck and had to stop himself from walking over and kissing the back of her neck.

A few minutes later, Josh sat back down next to Donna. He noticed that she had finished all of the problems and seemed to be proofing her work.

Eventually, she sighed, closed her eyes and pushed her paper over to Josh's side of the table.

"All right. These are my best guesses."

Josh smiled at her. "Your best guesses?"

"Um…I meant my best effort?"

"That's more like it," he said beginning to check her work.

Donna put her head down on the table, because she was sure that she had gotten most of them wrong and she couldn't handle watching Josh's face as he checked her paper.

"Donnatella?"

"Hhmm?" she asked from the shelter of her folded arms.

"You wanna look up for a second?"

Donna sighed and looked up into Josh's face. He was smiling.

"You got them all right."

Donna's eyes widened. Then she started smiling. "No way."

"Yes, way," he said, spinning the paper so she could see.

"Oh my God," Donna said, eyes widening. "You're not kidding?"

"Nope," said Josh, grinning.

"Really?"

"Yep. You got them all right."

Her smile widened. "Oh my God. I get it. I really get it," she said, reaching over and hugging Josh. "You're amazing!"

"So, I've been told," he said smugly, smiling as she laughed.

"Josh, how can I ever thank you?"

"Don't thank me just yet," he said, gesturing to the book. "We still have two more days to go and you have many more weeks of class."

"But the test on Tuesday night will be just like this, right?"

"Uh huh," said Josh, happy that Donna was so happy.

"So, if I can do these one, maybe I can get those ones too?"

"Definitely."

She smiled again. "Can you make me up another set of problems so we can be sure this isn't just a fluke?"

"It's not a fluke," he said confidently, already making up some new problems for her.

"Yeah, well, I won't believe that until I see it," she said, waiting patiently for him to finish.

The next set of problems were harder, but Donna took her time again, only getting really frustrated once and panicking, until Josh sat down next to her and stopped her relentless tapping with her pencil.

"Breathe Donnatella," he whispered.

Donna didn't raise her head to look at him, but she did take a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm her racing heart. When she felt calmer and less panicked, she opened her eyes and started figuring the problem again. Josh squeezed her hand and got up to walk to the windows, watching the sun begin to set.

A few minutes later Donna had finished and Josh walked back over to check her work. She'd gotten most of the problems correct again. There were a few errors, but Josh walked Donna through the problems and she understood where she had gone wrong.

"I think you're ready," he smiled at her after explaining the last problem.

"Yeah, well it's easy to work on problems in your kitchen. It's a whole `nother thing to be in a classroom with a specified amount of time to finish."

"You'll be great," he said, reaching over to grab her hand. "Just remember. If you start to panic, take a deep breath and clear your mind."

She squeezed his hand back. "Oh sure. If I clear my mind, I'll never get any of the formulas back."

"You will. I know you can do this," he said back, bringing her hand to his lips.

Donna's eyes widened while she watched Josh raise her palm to his lips. She smiled, eyes pricking with tears. "Thank you for believing in me," she whispered.

"I have always believed in you," he whispered back, placing her palm against his cheek. "Will you stay for dinner?"

"Are you cooking?" she asked, her eyes wrinkling with silent laughter.

"Are you kidding?" he asked, kissing her palm again, before getting up and heading into his kitchen where he kept all his take-out menus.

They ended up ordering Chinese food, eating it on the front steps, watching the sun set. The talk between them was comfortable and intimate, while each tried to figure out exactly what their new relationship was.

They cleaned up after their meal and Donna packed her bag to go home, knowing that tomorrow was a full day of work for them both.

Josh walked Donna down to her car. After she had opened her door and thrown her bag into the back seat, she turned to find Josh standing right next to her.

"You're a very good student, Donnatella," he whispered, reaching a hand up to caress her face.

"I think it's more the tutor than the tutoree," she said back.

"No. I think it's you."

Donna saw the truth of the statement shining through his eyes. "Thank you Josh."

"You're welcome," he said, reaching his other hand up to cup her face between his hands, running his thumbs along her cheekbones. Donna sighed and closed her eyes at his gentle touch.

"Donnatella," he whispered before placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

Donna reached her hands around Josh's back, tightening her hold as Josh deepened the kiss. The kiss would have gone on longer, but a car pulled onto Josh's street, the lights hitting their entwined form, causing them to pull apart.

When Donna would have pulled back further, Josh held her to him, kissing her forehead and pulling her into his arms.

"Josh? What are we doing?" she whispered from her place under his chin.

"What we should have done a long time ago," he whispered back, pulling her closer.

Donna sighed, content to stay in Josh's arms forever. They fit together in all the right places and Josh tightened his hold further, loath to let her go.

"Josh, I have to go," she said, kissing his neck.

"Okay," he said, looking into her eyes when she raised her head. He saw the questions and happiness mingled in her eyes.

"We have to talk Josh, but I've got this test and…"

"It's okay. We will talk," said Josh, interrupting her. "But, you're right. We'll wait until after your test."

"Okay, but we'll talk then, right?" she asked, nervous that Josh did not feel the same way she did.

"Yes. I think it's very, very important that we talk soon," he said, smiling at her and calming her fears.

"Very, very, hmm?" she asked, a teasing glint in her eyes.

"Oh yeah," he said, lowering his lips to hers again for one more kiss before she got into her car and drove home.

 

 


	5. Back To School 5

Ratings, Disclaimer, Random Thoughts in Chapter 1.

 

Back to School (5/7)

The next morning at work, Donna was away from her desk most of the morning, helping Carol coordinate some briefings for CJ. When she returned to her desk, there was a piece of paper sticking out of Josh's calendar. When she pulled it out, it was a set of problems with a note from Josh.

Donnatella-

I drew the short straw and had to go with the President to California to see the damage done by the recent earthquake. I'll probably be gone until Friday.

I really wanted to be able to help you study one more night for your midterm. Instead, these problems are for you. I left the answers on my desk, but you're not to look at them until you finish the problems! And no cheating! Don't write the formulas on your calculator or ask someone else for help. You know how to do these. Just take a deep breath and focus on the end result.

Good luck. I know you'll do great. I'll be thinking about you.

Josh

Donna read the note with tears in her eyes. She wished Josh hadn't had to go with the President. She didn't feel as confident about the test without him around, but she was determined to show him and herself that she could do this.

She took the problems with her and did them at lunch, returning to Josh's office to find the answers. Josh's desk was a mess and it took a few minutes for Donna to find the folder marked with her name. Inside were the answers, as well as detailed explanations for the problems. Donna sat in Josh's chair, checking her work, happy to see that she had gotten all the problems right.

She turned over the last answer sheet and found another note from Josh.

Donnatella-

Since you got this far, I'm assuming you didn't get frustrated or lost. I knew you could do it. You are one of the smartest women I know, and a piece of paper from a university will never change that.

Open my bottom drawer for my good luck gift to you. I already miss you.

Josh

Donna opened Josh's bottom drawer to find a red rose with a rabbit's foot wrapped around the stem. Smiling through her tears, Donna left her work and Josh's gift in his drawer until the end of the day, so that she wouldn't have to answer questions about the rose.

 

 


	6. Back To School 6

Ratings, Disclaimer, Random Thoughts in Chapter 1.

 

Back to School (6/7)

Donna reviewed her notes overnight and felt confident, but when Tuesday morning came, she started getting nervous. She missed Josh's calm reassurance. She started quizzing herself while she sat in a meeting, but got so flustered that she started forgetting formulas. Frustrated that she was already forgetting everything Josh taught her, she furiously studied her notes at lunch, but didn't feel any better.

She was one step away from scribbling the formulas on the back of her calculator, when her phone rang. Clearing her throat so that she wouldn't sound as if she'd been crying, she picked up.

"Josh Lyman's office."

"Donnatella."

"Josh?"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine," she said, biting her lip and putting her calculator away, realizing that she couldn't write her formulas on the calculator while talking to Josh.

"I can tell you're not fine," said Josh in an admonishing tone. "You're not nervous are you?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Did you do the problems I left for you?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"And, I got them all right."

"I knew you would," he said softly. "Did you get your reward?"

Donna felt her face blushing, remembering Josh's gift. "Yes. Thank you Josh."

"You're welcome. I thought a little incentive couldn't hurt."

"And a little luck?"

"You don't need luck, but I carried that rabbit's foot throughout school. My grandmother gave it to me when I was 7 and had a very difficult spelling test in 3rd grade."

Donna laughed. "Did you do well on your spelling test?"

"Of course," he laughed back. "But even if I didn't, do you think I'd tell you that so close to your test?"

Donna was quiet for a minute. "I'm really nervous Josh. I tried to remember the formulas during a meeting today and I couldn't. And then when I tried to do some problems at lunch, I…"

"What did I tell you we were going to do today?" he interrupted.

"Uh…"

"We were going to sit back and relax."

"Uh huh."

"And are you doing that?"

"Well, kind of…but I just wanted to see if I really knew the formulas… and then I couldn't…"

"Donnatella, you're making yourself nervous. Put the books away. Don't look at your notes anymore. Just take a deep breath if you get frustrated. Okay?"

Donna sighed. "Okay," she said quietly. "You still won't be back until Friday?"

"I don't know. Things could change, but you know how the President is. He wants to talk to every person who was affected by the quake."

Donna took a deep breath to give her courage to admit what she was about to say. "I wish you were here," she said quietly.

"I do too," he whispered back. "I miss you."

"I miss you too."

After a moment of silence between them while they both felt the pangs of their separation, Josh said, "I'll call you tomorrow to find out how you did, okay?"

"Okay."

"You can do this Donnatella."

"I know."

"You don't sound convinced."

"I am. I am," she said more convincingly the second time.

"That's my girl. I gotta go. Good luck tonight."

"Thanks Josh. I'll talk to you soon."

Donna finished the remainder of her work and headed directly to Georgetown from work. She sat at her desk, taking a quick glance through her notes. She put the rabbits foot in her shirt pocket and watched as the professor distributed the midterm. Feeling a familiar flutter in her stomach, she took a deep breath and started the exam.

An hour and a half later, Donna was finished. She'd only panicked on a few problems, but she'd done as Josh had said, taking a deep breath and visualizing the end result, and she'd moved past her mental block. She'd checked and double checked her work and was satisfied that it was to the best of her ability. She went home satisfied that she wouldn't disappoint herself or Josh. She admitted to herself that even if she got a `C' she at least didn't completely blank the way she had on so many math tests before.

 

 


	7. Back To School 7

Ratings, Disclaimer, Random Thoughts in Chapter 1.

 

Back to School (6/7)

Back to School (7/7)

The next two days passed quickly. Josh called on Wednesday and Donna had told him truthfully what had happened. When she arrived home that night, a huge bouquet of flowers were delivered from Josh. Thursday passed quickly and Donna once again found herself in the classroom waiting for the professor to give back their midterms. He gave a lesson first, so Donna was on pins and needles throughout the class. When he passed back the exam, Donna didn't even look at it. She was too nervous now after having waited the whole class. She just stuffed it in her bag and headed out into the night.

She rationalized that when, and if, she ever looked at it, if it was horrible she could hide it from Josh or lie and say that the professor hadn't handed them back.

She walked down the steps of the building and was surprised to see Josh waiting at the bottom. He was smiling broadly at her and opened his arms to her. She walked into them, glad to have him back home.

"I missed you," he whispered, kissing her temple.

"I missed you too," she said, turning her face up to receive his kiss.

After a few minutes, Josh pulled back. "So?"

"So what?"

"The midterm. How'd you do?" he asked smiling.

"I don't know," Donna said sheepishly. "I didn't look."

"You didn't look? Where is it?" Josh asked, taking her backpack from her.

"It's in there on the top," she said, watching him dig through the bag and pull the test out.

Donna studied the cracks on the steps, not willing to look at Josh's face. She couldn't stand it if she'd done poorly.

She heard Josh take a quick breath.

"It's horrible, right?" she asked.

"Donnatella. You did really well."

"I did?" she asked, surprised. She looked up into Josh's smiling face.

"Really, really well," he said, turning the test so she could see the grade. It was an A minus.

"An A? I got an A on a math test?" she asked, feeling her hands tremble as she reached for the paper.

"You got an A on a math test," said Josh, wiping the tears that were coursing down Donna's face.

"Thank you. Thank you," Donna said flinging her arms around Josh's neck.

"Hey, I hardly did anything. You're the one that did all the work."

"But I couldn't have done it without you. This is the very first A I've ever gotten on a math test," she said, studying the test.

"I think this calls for a celebration," said Josh, cupping Donna's face in his hands brushing his lips against hers. "I'm so proud of you Donnatella."

Donna's eyes filled with more tears. "Thank you Josh. You have no idea what that means to me."

"I've always been proud of you, you know," he whispered, kissing the tears that leaked from her eyes.

Donna just nodded, too overcome to speak.

"Are you hungry?"

Donna nodded again, brushing the tears from her eyes.

Josh kissed her lightly. "I also think there's a conversation we were going to have…"

Donna blushed. "Yes," she said, putting her palm against Josh's face. "Thank you Josh," she whispered.

"You're welcome," he said linking their hands and leading her down the steps. "Let's get you some brain food and start studying for your final."

Donna groaned and laughed, following him across the campus.

THE END


End file.
